Wife Life Wednesday: The First Year

Happy Wife Life Wednesday!  

So glad that you could stop by!  I love planning weddings and making sure that all of the details are perfect.  But in all honesty, the most important part is that at the end of the day, you become his wife.  It is such an exciting time but it's also a time for learning, trials, and tribulations.

If anyone ever tells you, "The first year is easy," they are probably lying to you or they just had a really good understanding of what married life would be like.  I am sure that our case was a bit different than many, each person's experience will be different.  Even so, that first year is full of learning new things.  

1st Anniversary Weekend!

1st Anniversary Weekend!

You will now be living with this man, full time.  Merging two single people's things into one house.  Sharing one room, together.  For the first 5 almost 6 months, Matt and I shared my full sized bed from my parent's house.  My husband is no small man.  We shared a FULL SIZED BED!!   There was no room for moving around.  Thankfully we were able to get a king sized bed fairly quickly.  

Money became a big issue in our relationship and really put a strain on it there for a little while.  We got married, my student loans started to come in and be due, I took a 50% pay cut from switching jobs to try and get my foot in the door.  I didn't even make enough to cover my loans muss less to help a whole lot with anything else.  Making that switch paid off, but it took a year to do so.  Time also was an issue because I would work all day and then go clean someone else's house to try and make some more money.  I would get home around 7 or 7:30pm.  I wasn't home to make dinner or clean and after working that long, I didn't feel like doing much of anything when I got home.  It was a struggle, working all the time but having no real money to show for it.  It really doesn't put a good taste in your mouth.  It is also hard for a spouse who is used to having their own money to now have to join together to keep the other afloat.  Things did get better over time and we worked out a system thankfully.  We could have ended up as a statistic, but our faith in God and each other pulled us through.

No matter how much you think you know your future spouse, you don't really know them until you live together.  That is when expectations come out that you didn't even know you had.  My mother-in-law works non-stop, a sort of Super Woman if you will.  She would make breakfast, lunches, dinners.  Work all day plus a lot of hours at home.  Help Matt's little brother with homework, clean once everyone went to bed, made the beds every morning, do all of the laundry, etc.  That was what Matt was used to.  I on the other hand, like my sleep.  Cleaning after working all day was not my top priority, I wanted to spend time with my husband, not clean. So things didn't get done that he expected to get done.  He wasn't being mean, its just what he was conditioned to.  We had to communicate with one another and express what we were looking for and what we thought would happen.

I can't stand it when he balls up his wash cloths and leaves them in the shower or puts wet towels in the hamper with our clothes instead of the plastic hamper meant for towels.  He can't stand all of my stuff being on the bathroom sink.  Little things like that, that aren't an issue when you have your own bathroom become an issue when you share.  Little things will become irritating big things because you will let them get under your skin.  Learn to pick your battles.  It won't kill me to rinse out his wash cloth, but the clothes could mold if they are in the hamper long enough and get wet.  Look at the big picture.

I hope I didn't scare anyone away from getting married.  I am no expert by any means on marriage, I'm still learning as we speak different things about Matt.  But, that makes it exciting!  Matt and I have been married for getting close to 2 years now.  We are constantly changing and growing, but the fun part is that we get to do it together.  I love him so much!  He puts up with the silly things I come up with, like making him propose to me every time it snows, and I put up with him wanting to play GTA with his friends online after work.  But its about more than just putting up with someone, it's about loving them through all of their querks, flaws, and insecurities.  Lifting them up and supporting them even when you think that their ideas are crazy.  Marry that special someone and be prepared to compromise, listen, and learn.  It's not going to be easy, you both will make mistakes, but you will come out on top closer, wiser, and stronger together because of it!